Sunday, June 19, 2011

#2 Stability

#2 Stability

Purchasing our home means we'll are giving our kids the stability they deserve. This will be our fourth and hopefully last move since our kids have been born. I am not sure how that compares to the average family but for me that is a lot of moving. Come Wednesday we will be able to finally move into a place without having to worry about if we will outgrow this place, if the rent is going to go up, or what will happen if my landlord and I have a disagreement about repairs. These are a few of the things we've had to worry about in the past in our other residences. Now we'll be able to prove to our kids they are finally stable. The move to Charlotte was extremely hard on them because we took them from everything they've ever know and moved 550 miles away. I know that they didn't understand or even cared to understand when we tried to explain we were doing so to give them a better life. All they knew was they had to leave.

I think I've share with you guys in the past that my son is autistic. Change is hard for him and was NOT at all happy about the move. When we first got here he told me he wanted to move back to PA to live with my mom because he did not like it here. I was (and still am) so worried about him. Although, on the outside he looks like a normal teen he is a few years behind mentally. Some kids are so mean to him and try to take advantage of him when they discover he's different. I hate that kids can be so cruel to each other. I often have to restrain myself from fighting his battles with them because I want him to be independent and able to stand up for himself. It just breaks my heart to see him sad because he is such a wonderful kid! My daughter doesn't worry me as much because she is a social person, she has an easier time making friends and tends to make a new one everyday it!

After a few months of living here they slowly start to make friends and all seems to be going well until we tell them again that they have to leave. Again they are not happy.

In the beginning of the process my son expressed his disinterest in moving during several conversations. I felt so bad but tried to explain the benefits of us having our own home...didn't work. As the process went on and we got to see the house become reality he started to show a little more interest but not much. I think it wasn't until the walls were in and things were really starting to come into focus that he started to kind a sort of like the idea of us getting a home. He's still not crazy about the move but I think we've come to the point where he realizes that it's happening regardless. I have been making it a point to spend more time with him and dragging him over to the house every chance we get so he can see how it's evolving. I continue to pray that he will do good in our new neighborhood finding friends that will like him for him and not use him for what he has.

I hope that after this move, they can finally let their guard down and know it is ok to make friends without fear of having to move again because this home will be OURS!


  1. That is a GREAT countdown number. It is really hard, for all kids not just children with a disability wether it be physical or mental. Heck its hard on us as adults so I can just imagine as a kid! I still remember the one time I moved when I was little because we sold our family was devastating! I still remember it all 20 years later.

    Good luck hun...for you, your son and the rest of your family. I hope and pray your neigborhood kids will be more accepting. NOTHING and I truely mean nothing, infuriates me more than seeing kids pick on other kids because "its the cool thing to do" I think its horrendous and if I was a billionare I would start a foundation that goes to every school and teaches these kids right from wrong because obviously they didn't pick it up along the way. We try to instill in our children that picking on anybody for any reason is wrong. We are actually both happy to be living in an area that is very culturaly diverse because both my husband and I grew up in very caucasian, small town communities and we both couldnt wait to leave them behind. Luckly my daughter is very compassionate (think she gets it from my mom) and loves everyone she comes in contact with. I hate to pin bully behavior on parents but I have to admit....after seeing my daugheter go through pre-school with kids of ALL different races and a little boy whom was handicapped with a chair...I am convinced it is all about what they learn at home because NONE of those little kids saw any difference in each other.

    Best of luck to you hun and I will keep you in my prayers!!

  2. What an AWESOME post honey!! I understand stability and moving. But also we have different stories.

    I hope for the same thing for your family as you do. And Noob is right, I think it's about what you are taught at home. And hopefully moving into a nice neighborhood will bring a nicer quality of people with it (that's my hope! lol).

    I am happy for you and your family. I really am. I'm sorry I won't be here for your closing. But I am so over-the-top thrilled for ya'll! Congrats honey!! I hope all your dreams come true in this new home.

  3. Thanks ladies! I do agree that a child knows better if they are taught better, but I do think that a lot of it stems from hanging with the wrong kids. I think a lot of it is the new generation, kids don't value anything and don't care about anyone other then themselves. I know when I have had to address issues with other parents they all say they weren't raised that way but the kids act up anyway. Idk....I am just hoping for a smooth transition.

    Noey have a great time and check in when you get back with pics. Lol!

  4. Moving is hard!!!!! I totally get that from moving 2 thous miles away but sometimes you have to make tough decisions and tough decisions are not easy. As for having a autistic son I know that must not have been easy. It is tough knowing that you are different from other people. I am deaf myself and I know it is tough when you view yourself through your eyes knowing not everyone else is the same. It may be tough now but you are right stability is important especially when you want what is best for your kids.

    I think it is great that he is coming around and once the house is done he will grow to love it and call it his own. I am so thrilled for you guys to be able to get a beautiful safe home.

    Please do share your pre-settlement experiences since mine will be coming up soon so anything that would help please do share. I am excited for you and your family. Great countdown stability!!!!! Wished I would have thought of this one. :)

  5. @Stephaine thank you for your kind words and well wishes. I hope all the same for you and your family!